This IS Creation!

Hannah recently wrote about her experience when the news of our pregnancy first came to pass.

Here is my version...

There I was, hanging out at my parents' house  (the one I grew up in, in Cooney Street, Moolap - a suburb of the great city of Geelong - about an hour from Melbourne) trying to get my head around that fact that in 5 days time I would be boarding a jet plane to Peru (of all places) to start my new life.

I was finding this extremely hard to do and kept telling my friends and family that; ''It feels like I am only back here visiting for a short holiday and next week I'll  be going back to Bangkok, back to my girlfriend, back to my flat, back to my old life... ''

Little did I know that this was exactly what was about to happen...

I was watching 'Air Crash Investigations' with my dad - it had become an obsession in the short time that I was home (God knows why you would watch that show every night when you're a week away from flying across the Pacific Ocean, but I digress.) Hannah texted and mentioned something obscure about getting somewhere 'private' for a Skype chat.  I'm not sure what it was that piqued my curiosity, but it was just enough to get me thinking...
Has she finally come to her senses?
Is she ditching Bangkok and coming to Peru?

(''Doo Wee Ooo'' - you know that sound! - Skype Call Connected.)

Hannah:
''I'm pregnant.''

(The following extract is from my diary and is the raw, emotional response to Hannah's Skype call after she saw me turn white, told me to call her back when I had thought about it further, and hung up!)

22:22 Tue July 17, 2012

Hannah just Skyped...

She's Pregnant...

--------------------------------------Pause

6 weeks.

She did 5 pee tests then went to the clinic for a scan.

She's pregnant.

With my baby.

I'm in total shock.

She sent me some weird texts.  (I thought she wanted phone sex at first, but then it sounded more serious.)

She asked at the clinic if she could see a counsellor, talk to someone?

They sent her upstairs to an abortionist who was going to make it all go away. 

Her strong reaction was that she wanted to have the baby- so she got the fuck out of there!

Go Girl!!!

I totally panicked and shit my pants.

I am still shaking.

I have NO IDEA what to do... What does she want me to do?

I am flying to Peru in 5 days.

I have a 2 year contract.

I have a Resident Visa for Peru.

I have a 3 bedroom apartment in Lima.

I have a job at Collegio Franklin Delano Roosevelt American School of Lima!

I even have a maid - named Aurelia - for fucks sake!

This is BIG!

Forget that massive understatement.

This is the biggest thing since, since, since - HUGE!

I'm gonna be a dad! (I think?)

No - it's happening - I'm gonna be a dad!

FUCK THIS IS BIG / HUGE !

MASSIVE!!!

THE BIGGEST THING SINCE CREATION!

THIS IS CREATION!

Fuck! It's 23:22 - that was an hour? I guess we talked for a while - but I think I've now left Hannah hanging and alone and pregnant in my old (our) flat...

I guess I'm quitting my new job?

I guess I'm heading back to Bangkok?

God - she said she can do it on her own - she doesn't need me.

I asked her if she fancied a trip half way around the world. That got squashed. (And fair enough - no support network, friends etc, etc.)

I CAN'T THINK.

I thought my life was pretty complicated 2 hours ago.

I need to know what she wants.

If she wants me there to be the father of our child, then I'm in 2000%

I will be a dad and she will bear our children and I will love, honour and obey (but probably not marry) her and protect and nurture and love him/her forever and a day...

Is this really happening?

I need to make a call...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, I calmed myself (somewhat) and called her back.

I think, through the muttering and stumbling and confusion, I managed to ask her what she wanted.

She put on that face of hers.  The one where she inhales deeply, locks in her core, grits her teeth (very stiff-upper-lip.  Very English!)

''I can manage this by myself.  I am not asking you to be involved if you don't want to.'' 

''Wh... What if I did... What if I did want to?''

Her face broke then she laughed.

''Of course I want you to be involved - I WANT YOU HERE... NOW!!!''

''I do!''

We laughed, then we cried - she told me she had been regretting not asking me to stay for the last 6 months, but she felt she had left it too late with my contract sorted out in Peru etc. (Thought she left it too late? Ironic?)

Anyway - all of that flew out the window when she peed on that stick! 

Finally - Hannah Mary Waters has arrived at the place where I knew she would get to - where I dreamed she might get to - if only I could have hung on - and I did hang on in the end, but only by the skin of my teeth!

All it took was a little poor planning and some careless contraceptive practises around my birthday and BAM! New woman! Same beautiful, intelligent, gorgeous woman - but but very noticeably different.  I've never seen such focus, total Zen!

She was the one who got me through this period of initial shock! I was a total fucking wreck!

I think I also managed to ask - ''What if?''

''It's only 6 weeks along - what if this doesn't happen?''

She answered so perfectly:

''Well, I think I'd like to try for another one as soon as possible!''

What could I say?

''I'm In, baby! - Let's do this!''