Friday, 21 December 2012

Week 29


I’m writing this from a rather lovely spot.  Morgs and I are taking an unhurried breakfast at our secret resort getaway, relaxing and reading the papers, surrounded by verdant, green jungle in a valley high in the mountains of Kao Yai National Park.

The ‘resort’ is perhaps 10 or 15 simple bungalows scattered around the edge of a large garden.  In the centre of the garden is a ring of palms, shading a deep blue pool.  Before us, behind us and to either side, rise the mountains with their dense tangle of rainforest; close enough to touch and ringing with the calls of birds and monkeys.  Apart from these pleasant intrusions on our quiet world, all is peaceful.

For our safety, the place is policed vigorously by an ancient jack russell, who begins the day on the grass, in a patch of sun by the gate, cunningly pretending to sleep while watching the world through half-closed eyes, ready to pounce should anyone try to slip by him.  Fortunately, no one ever does and so by noon, when the temperature creeps up, Jack finishes his shift and drags himself across the lawn to the shade of the bougainvillea, where he stretches his stubby legs out behind him, resting his round little belly on the cool grass and collapsing with a loud, wet snort.

This is probably the last time Morgs and I will have a holiday like this together so we are making the most of it: long lie-ins, leisurely meals and lots of self-indulgently soppy eye-gazing.  I used to scoff at couples like us, slipping quietly off to bed at seven thirty, while I called for another round of tequilas and mentally balanced the wisdom of ordering something to eat against the potential impact on the silhouette of whatever it was I was wearing (yes, I’m that shallow).

How things have changed!

All I want to do in the evenings now is sneak off to bed and cuddle.  I’m actually a bit upset if I’m not tucked in by eight thirty.  And as for my tummy: I adore its big roundness and I find myself rubbing it and stroking it far more often than is generally considered either proper or seemly.  I’m like someone’s fat uncle at the end of the barbeque; leaning back contentedly in my chair and stretching my arms above my head, looking down in admiration at the vast expanse of belly and running my hands back and forth over it with pride.

I am going to miss this: this feeling of our baby growing inside me; feeling his kicks growing stronger each day; his movements becoming more deliberate, more exploratory. I am going to miss lying on my back watching him move under my skin. I'm going to miss being pregnant.
 
 

Monday, 3 December 2012

26 Week Scan... The Movie...

26 Week Scan... The Movie...

 
Highlights:
 
Dr Sankiat: Your baby weigh 963grams.
Hannah: Wow 963grams - how big will he be when he comes out?
Dr Sankiat: I'll let you know at the end!
 
###
 
Morgs: He looks like an alien!
Dr Sankiat: All de babies look like alien.
 
###
 
Morgs: You don't take holidays Dr Sankiat?
Dr Sankiat: This is my holiday. Every day.
 
###
 
 
 

Wednesday, 28 November 2012

22 Week Scan Movie Premiere

22 Week Scan Movie Premiere
 

Highlights:

 
1min, 27 sec: Heartbeat...
 
2min, 48sec - The little unit does a funky dance move...

Monday, 26 November 2012

22 Week Scan

22 Week Scan

I'm not 100% certain what we are seeing here, but Kyle Reese summed it up perfectly...
"...an infiltration unit, part man, part machine. Underneath, it's a hyperalloy combat chassis — micro processor-controlled, fully armored. Very tough. But outside, it's living human tissue — flesh, skin, hair, blood, grown for the cyborgs..."

This lift just lends itself to awesome photos!

Yummy Mummy

Yummy Mummy 2

Thursday, 18 October 2012

Baby brain?

I went to a conference at the weekend:  I was having a chat with someone during the tea break and they asked me what school I work at... I had to read it off my name badge.

Is that normal?!

Also, if I'm cooking something - no matter how simple it is - before I start, I have to line all the ingredients up on the counter in the order I'm going to use them or I forget stuff.

Oh, and this morning, I tried to buzz myself into the train station with my work ID.

It's a good job I'm generally used to feeling a bit thick.

Monday, 15 October 2012

Bump Update 20 weeks

Hi mums and others... A quick visual update from the balcony...
 Hannah at 20 weeks...
And here is a shot of the new and improved balcony garden...
With the baby momma looking pretty cozy...
Patting the bump after eating my hot roast rolls...

Sunday, 30 September 2012

I felt our baby move for the first time today

It felt like he was pressing against my tummy from the inside - first on one side, then on the other.

Thursday, 20 September 2012

You really know you're preggers when....

... you get in from the rain and your tummy is wet on the top, dry underneath.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

This IS Creation!

Hannah recently wrote about her experience when the news of our pregnancy first came to pass.

Here is my version...

There I was, hanging out at my parents' house  (the one I grew up in, in Cooney Street, Moolap - a suburb of the great city of Geelong - about an hour from Melbourne) trying to get my head around that fact that in 5 days time I would be boarding a jet plane to Peru (of all places) to start my new life.

I was finding this extremely hard to do and kept telling my friends and family that; ''It feels like I am only back here visiting for a short holiday and next week I'll  be going back to Bangkok, back to my girlfriend, back to my flat, back to my old life... ''

Little did I know that this was exactly what was about to happen...

I was watching 'Air Crash Investigations' with my dad - it had become an obsession in the short time that I was home (God knows why you would watch that show every night when you're a week away from flying across the Pacific Ocean, but I digress.) Hannah texted and mentioned something obscure about getting somewhere 'private' for a Skype chat.  I'm not sure what it was that piqued my curiosity, but it was just enough to get me thinking...
Has she finally come to her senses?
Is she ditching Bangkok and coming to Peru?

(''Doo Wee Ooo'' - you know that sound! - Skype Call Connected.)

Hannah:
''I'm pregnant.''

(The following extract is from my diary and is the raw, emotional response to Hannah's Skype call after she saw me turn white, told me to call her back when I had thought about it further, and hung up!)

22:22 Tue July 17, 2012

Hannah just Skyped...

She's Pregnant...

--------------------------------------Pause

6 weeks.

She did 5 pee tests then went to the clinic for a scan.

She's pregnant.

With my baby.

I'm in total shock.

She sent me some weird texts.  (I thought she wanted phone sex at first, but then it sounded more serious.)

She asked at the clinic if she could see a counsellor, talk to someone?

They sent her upstairs to an abortionist who was going to make it all go away. 

Her strong reaction was that she wanted to have the baby- so she got the fuck out of there!

Go Girl!!!

I totally panicked and shit my pants.

I am still shaking.

I have NO IDEA what to do... What does she want me to do?

I am flying to Peru in 5 days.

I have a 2 year contract.

I have a Resident Visa for Peru.

I have a 3 bedroom apartment in Lima.

I have a job at Collegio Franklin Delano Roosevelt American School of Lima!

I even have a maid - named Aurelia - for fucks sake!

This is BIG!

Forget that massive understatement.

This is the biggest thing since, since, since - HUGE!

I'm gonna be a dad! (I think?)

No - it's happening - I'm gonna be a dad!

FUCK THIS IS BIG / HUGE !

MASSIVE!!!

THE BIGGEST THING SINCE CREATION!

THIS IS CREATION!

Fuck! It's 23:22 - that was an hour? I guess we talked for a while - but I think I've now left Hannah hanging and alone and pregnant in my old (our) flat...

I guess I'm quitting my new job?

I guess I'm heading back to Bangkok?

God - she said she can do it on her own - she doesn't need me.

I asked her if she fancied a trip half way around the world. That got squashed. (And fair enough - no support network, friends etc, etc.)

I CAN'T THINK.

I thought my life was pretty complicated 2 hours ago.

I need to know what she wants.

If she wants me there to be the father of our child, then I'm in 2000%

I will be a dad and she will bear our children and I will love, honour and obey (but probably not marry) her and protect and nurture and love him/her forever and a day...

Is this really happening?

I need to make a call...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So, I calmed myself (somewhat) and called her back.

I think, through the muttering and stumbling and confusion, I managed to ask her what she wanted.

She put on that face of hers.  The one where she inhales deeply, locks in her core, grits her teeth (very stiff-upper-lip.  Very English!)

''I can manage this by myself.  I am not asking you to be involved if you don't want to.'' 

''Wh... What if I did... What if I did want to?''

Her face broke then she laughed.

''Of course I want you to be involved - I WANT YOU HERE... NOW!!!''

''I do!''

We laughed, then we cried - she told me she had been regretting not asking me to stay for the last 6 months, but she felt she had left it too late with my contract sorted out in Peru etc. (Thought she left it too late? Ironic?)

Anyway - all of that flew out the window when she peed on that stick! 

Finally - Hannah Mary Waters has arrived at the place where I knew she would get to - where I dreamed she might get to - if only I could have hung on - and I did hang on in the end, but only by the skin of my teeth!

All it took was a little poor planning and some careless contraceptive practises around my birthday and BAM! New woman! Same beautiful, intelligent, gorgeous woman - but but very noticeably different.  I've never seen such focus, total Zen!

She was the one who got me through this period of initial shock! I was a total fucking wreck!

I think I also managed to ask - ''What if?''

''It's only 6 weeks along - what if this doesn't happen?''

She answered so perfectly:

''Well, I think I'd like to try for another one as soon as possible!''

What could I say?

''I'm In, baby! - Let's do this!''

Saturday, 8 September 2012

Bump Up-date

So.... That massive bump that I had turned out to be a six week build up of farts.

I was out on a conference at another school yesterday and their canteen food (an uncharacteristically delicious shepherds pie, of which I had seconds) was my undoing.

My tummy is now relatively flat, with a dainty bulge lower down on the abdomen as opposed to the bowling ball I was carrying around for the last month or so.

Just thought I'd share that with you :)

Wednesday, 5 September 2012

Bump and Grind

Things a pregnant girl loves to hear from her boyfriend...
#1: Baby!  You look so beautifully pregnant!  Can I take a photo with you and your bump?

 


Things she could probably do without hearing...
#1: Bloody hell - where's the fish eye setting so I can fit your arse in the shot?

Back to the start again...


Lots of lovely, kind people have been asking all kinds of questions about how I’ve been during the pregnancy so far (thank you!) so I thought I’d just give you a quick retrospective on the first trimester.

How did I realise I was pregnant?

The short answer: Nausea, combined with turning into an eating machine.

I thought I’d grown out of my travel sickness but the trip back from Koh Mak was a bit of a nightmare.  I felt sick for pretty much all of the 11 hour trip home.  When I went out to the supermarket to pick up ‘a few’ groceries that afternoon, I came home with six or seven shopping bags full of fruit and vegetables, half of which I then proceeded to eat, straight out of the bag, over the kitchen sink.  I was like the human equivalent of The Very Hungry Caterpillar: I had made it through eight plums, half a cucumber, and an orange before it occurred to me that this was not quite normal behaviour.

How has the whole pregnant bit been so far?

The short answer: AWESOME!

Apart from a bit of nausea right at the start, I’ve been really lucky: no morning sickness.  The only symptoms I’ve had have been food cravings and tiredness, but anyone who knows me will attest that eating an obscene amount and sleeping a lot is kind of what I’m good at, so it’s not exactly out of the ordinary for me.  In fact, it’s quite nice to have an excuse to be a lazy pig for once J

The most overwhelming thing for me so far, however, has been this feeling of total… contentment.  I feel sort of light and joyful all the time.  I float around a foot above the ground with a smile on my face.  Don’t get me wrong:  I’m generally positive anyway but this is weird.  Like… I love a good old whinge as much as the next pommy but somehow nothing annoys me anymore – even Bangkok traffic!  I have nothing to rant about.  I’m just… mildly euphoric.  Weird!

Am I scared?

The short answer: shitting myself!

Morgs and I watched some birthing videos this weekend.  Oh my god!!  There were women howling and shrieking uncontrollably, in total agony.  It was brutal.  Can I opt for a caesarean?  I may do!

What are our long term plans?

Short answer: Bangkok baby!

We’re going to have the baby at Samitivej hospital in Bangkok, under the expert care of Dr Sankiat, who was recommended by several friends here.  I am entitled to 45 days maternity leave which, rather conveniently, falls in between February half term and the Songkran holiday so I get around 2 months off, all in.  After that, when I go back to school, Morgs is going to be the full-time baby-daddy and keep life running smoothly for us all.

So that’s the plan so far.  We’re both just having such a lovely, happy time of it at the moment that we’re not really thinking too deeply about anything.  Everyone is being awesome – both of our families and all our friends are being so kind and supportive and we’re so grateful to everyone.  Totally feeling the love right now! Xxx

Monday, 3 September 2012

Victory Is Mine! Neck Beard goes google!

To my unborn daughter / son...

VICTORY IS MINE!!!

Today, and maybe any day from this day forward until the end of time, (or the end of the internet - whichever comes first?) when you type NECK BEARD into google images - you will see your old dad looking fondly back at you like a demented freaking leprechaun!



Yes, you will scroll down and see (on the same search-page as your old dad) a few people you may have seen before...

Only Willy Wonka & That kid from Transformers! (I didn't know 12 year olds could grow neck beards? The effects they create in Hollywood these days!)
 
Only the great Jack Nicholson! (On a bender!) and Hollywood's most prolific pants man - George Clooney (A.K.A the JOKER & BATMAN!!! - Your mum will really love that one!)

Only the most famous footballer on the planet, Becks! (Although, as I will tell you every day for the rest of your life - AFL is the only football that real men play! Jimmy Bartel should be your real football hero!)
 







Introducing - Angelina's better half... Brad!
And Indiana Jones - my first Hollywood Hero!!! (I will never forget seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark as a 12 year old boy at the Village Twin in Geelong!!!)
 
 
Yes, its safe to say, daddy is famous. And may well be for the rest of eternity - considering these guys who must have uploaded their neck beard photos 150million years ago and they are still on there to this day!!!


Even Ex U.S. Presidents come up on the same google search page as your dad!

This guy uploaded an oil painting of himself! (Proving once and for all that google was around before photography!)
 
Fashion hey - here I was thinking I was being original, and yet - two hundred years ago these guys were rocking the Neck Beard like they invented it...
And they probably did!
My advice to you - forget fashion - don't be a slave - rock out your own style with the safe knowledge that even though you think you are being 100% original - its probably been done before!
 
And beware - although I have been showing off about being famous and being on google with some of the greats of all time, (and lets be honest - its a pretty tidy line up of legends!) there are also followers out there who can be found on my google page too... Guys like this...
 
Crazed Ginger Neck Beard (IRA Bomber)
 
Ahhh, The Dutch! Home of windmills, Neck Beards and high quality over the counter Weed!

WTF?

Even a girl made it to the Neck Beard page!
 
Moral of the story, unborn Spawn...
a) Fashion is a massive crock and we don't follow!
b) Being famous is fun for about thirty seconds.  There are those heady days when you find yourself hanging out with the brat pack drinking Dry Martinis with Jack Nicholson and playing wingman to George Clooney in the VIP section of an exclusive Manhatten Nightclub...
Then, "BAM!"
The next thing you know, you are just one of the rest of us trying to make ends meet and build a better life for your (unborn) children!
 
I shaved the neck beard off today.
 

Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Daddy has a Neck Beard!

To my unborn son/daughter,

Daddy has a Neck Beard. (See pics below.)









 
Awww... How Cute! (I know what you're thinking... Why is mummy such a fox, and daddy looks like a freaking Leprechaun? LIFE IS AWESOME!!! - That's why!)

By the time you come into this world, all of the cool kids will have Neck Beards!

Hopefully, you won't be born with one - but even if you are, your mum and I will still love you! (although your photo will not appear on this blog!)

PS - This is really just an excuse to get my Neck Beard onto the www so that google might find it when i google-image-search "Neck Beard" - it's been a life-long ambition of mine and will ultimately make your daddy rich and famous?

Well, maybe?

So - did it work?

Google image search "Neck Beard" to find out?

http://images.google.com/

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Morgs Helped Too!

 

Morgs hard at work
Morgs The Builder - Can He Fix It?
Every girl needs a bronzed Aussie painting her bathroom!
Blue Steel...

Saturday, 25 August 2012

Hannah Nesting

Hannah and I have been nesting...

We have painted our little flat - fresh and white, changed the kitchen around by adding a new island-bench and mounting the microwave onto the wall.  We put a new full-length mirror up in the bedroom and have generally spruced the place up a bit.

It's true what they say about pregnancy and nesting... Hannah is even sewing curtains!

Great smile! (And nice grubby foot!)
 
Working hard!
 
 
Some of the paint made the wall, but most of it went on Hannah!

Initial Scan - 9 Weeks

This is our blob at 9 weeks and 4 days...ish
 
 
He/she was 2.75cm long and is upside down here waving at us with his/her little arm - which isnt quite an arm yet! Just the bud of an arm.
 
 
The blob LIVES!!!
Blob's Heart beat was flying along at 168BPM...
Very Fast to us, but apparently normal!
 
 
The blob in his/her little house... Awww

12 Week Scan

 
Today Hannah got her belly 'lube-d' up by Dr Sankiat and we saw this 5.64cm blob.

Apparently he/she is in good form and has all of the correct bits in the right places at this stage...

So... happy days!  Hannah and I will be celebrating tonight!  Beer and champagne for me... Iced water for m' lady!